Divorce is an emotional and difficult experience no matter your age or financial security. It is the dissolution of an important family bond that has likely been in existence for a number of years. The impact can be traumatic for some people, and in all instances, a significant change to the day to day life you had while married. Here are some tips on how to cope with a divorce:
1. Seek Emotional Assistance
Our clients often want to know how they should be dealing with divorce emotionally. While part of being a family law attorney is lending an ear and offering advice on the emotional aspects it is not what we were trained to do. We often recommend to our clients that they seek emotional assistance through therapy, counseling, or support groups so that they have a neutral third party to discuss the more emotional aspects of a divorce. Your attorney may be focused on the facts and law of your case, while you may tend to have a purely emotional reaction to what is happening. It’s likely that seeing a therapist will assist you in reconciling those two aspects of your life. A therapist may not only give you mechanisms for coping with the emotions that come up during a divorce, but may also be able to talk to you about what is happening in your case and help you sort past the emotions in order to make a decision about what to do. People who were married for a long time and do not necessarily want a divorce, or people who may have been faced with infidelity in the relationship, may be so paralyzed by the hurt or fear that they are unable to think rationally when faced with decisions about potential settlements. Seeing a therapist may go a long way in helping you not only emotionally, but also with regard to moving your case forward in a positive manner.
2. Keep Busy
If you are going through a divorce while you have small children, this may seem like an easy one- you are always busy! But it’s important to remember to do things for yourself. Make plans to go out with your friends, meet new people or try new things. This certainly doesn’t mean that you should jump back into the dating scene if you are not ready. But there are many social media websites geared towards social gatherings that are not intended to be romantic, such as meetup.com. This may be a good opportunity to get back into fitness, a sport you formerly enjoyed, or another activity that you may not have been able to participate in while you were married.
3. Look To The Future
Moving on after a divorce is always a scary prospect. But it’s important that you think ahead and plan for what you want your post-divorce life to look like. It may be that you will be going back to work after a prolonged period of time out of the workforce. What might you want to do? Do you want to return to your prior field? Or have you always had a passion for something else? You will also want to consider if you need any additional education or training in order to achieve these goals. Not only will this keep you busy while going through the divorce, but it will also give you some emotional stability because you will have a plan for your life and will be actively pursuing whatever that new goal may be.
If you are considering a divorce, call DeTorres & DeGeorge at 908-284-6005 to schedule a consultation with one of our experienced attorneys.