Man with hand on face standing across from a womanTelling your spouse that you want a divorce and figuring out how to start a divorce discussion can be a very difficult and daunting decision to make. Once you determine that you want to divorce your spouse, it is important that you are prepared to have this discussion with your spouse. 

Best Way To Tell Your Spouse You Want A Divorce

This discussion should take place in private, and it certainly should not take place in front of children. It’s important that you stay calm and maintain boundaries. Prepare your spouse for what you want to discuss. Do not blindside your partner. Be prepared for a range of emotions in response to sharing your decision. Try to remain calm. 

You may want to consider consulting with a counselor to facilitate this discussion before you tell your spouse that you want a divorce. You will want to make sure that you know that this is really what you want. Once you decide this is how you intend to move forward, you have to be firm and compassionate. It is critical to maintain boundaries. It is also a good idea to consult with a divorce attorney before you tell your spouse that you want a divorce. Do not threaten to divorce your spouse until you have determined that you are ready. Organize documents ahead of time if you think that there may be some concern that your spouse will destroy documentation or remove documentation from your home. Be prepared financially in the event that your spouse is not cooperative.

Make sure that you have devoted the time necessary to this decision before you decide to move forward with divorce. Some people first pursue counseling independently or as a couple. Some people choose to retain an attorney before they tell their spouse that they want a divorce in the event they have to move quickly.

If you are convinced that you cannot be happy and maintain your marriage, it’s probably time for you to have this discussion and tell your spouse that you want a divorce.  It can be difficult if you are not both on the same page. Be sure that you have considered other factors that could be contributing to how you are feeling such as personal health issues, outside stressors on your marriage, children, employment issues, financial issues, death of a loved one, or other family struggles that could be contributing to how you are feeling. Be sure that this is how you want to proceed.

It is important for you to consider how your spouse will react. You have to set aside private time to have this conversation. Listen to your spouse. Make sure that you allow time for additional discussion. Make sure that if your spouse is going to need the support of a friend or family member that you notify someone else that this discussion is taking place.

How to tell your spouse you want to separate 

You may decide that the best approach will be for you to separate first.  You may consider starting this conversation by sharing your feelings with your spouse about your marriage.  You should explain that you are not quite ready to file for divorce but want to explore the idea of a separation. This should be approached in a similar way to having a divorce conversation.

If you are preparing to tell your husband or wife that you want a divorce, contact the legal experts at DeTorres and DeGeorge. We can help you navigate this difficult situation in your life and provide the legal guidance you will need as you start a divorce conversation and consider the best way to tell your spouse you want a divorce. Contact us today for a consultation.

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