Deciding to Divorce Doesn’t Have to Mean a Court Fight


Deciding to Divorce Doesn’t Have to Mean a Court Fight

Deciding to Divorce Doesn’t Have to Mean a Court FightFor many people, when they think of divorce, they immediately go to a “Kramer v. Kramer” scenario: a bitter court battle, complete with feuding attorneys and courtroom dramatics. While this certainly is the situation in some cases, the vast majority of divorces resolve via a settlement agreement long before they are set for trial. In fact, there are a variety of alternatives to trial that prevent you from ever having to go to court at all.

Negotiation between attorneys
While it may seem that the divorce process is supposed to be adversarial in nature, it does not always have to be. Attorneys will always zealously represent their client and keep their specific client’s best interest at heart, but that representation does not always need to be combative. There are many situations in which an attorney may begin a case by reaching out to the other attorney and asking that they proceed in an amicable fashion for the benefit of the parties and their family. This may not always be possible depending on the specific facts and circumstances of each case, but many, many cases are fully resolved simply via the negotiations between parties, facilitated through their respective counsel.

One of the most common forms of alternative dispute resolution that is utilized in divorce proceedings is mediation. A mediator is a neutral individual who will sit with the parties – and counsel if they so desire – to try to negotiate a settlement of all of the issues in their divorce. A mediator cannot take a position as to the fairness of the deal that is negotiated by the parties, but he or she will guide the parties with regard to the law, and potentially how a local judge might rule on the issue if it were to come before him/her. In the event that the parties reach an agreement in mediation, the mediator will draft a memorandum of understanding, which outlines the terms of the agreement. It is important to know, especially if you elect to attend mediation without your attorney, that if you sign the memorandum of understanding while at mediation, it becomes an enforceable agreement, even if one party later tries to renege. If a memorandum is drafted but not signed, it is considered to be an agreement but is not enforceable until signed by the parties.

Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative divorce is another form of alternative dispute resolution. In collaborative divorce cases, both parties must hire attorneys who have been specially trained in collaborative divorce. In many situations, a collaborative divorce includes other specialists, such as therapists, financial planners, and accountants. These specialists are present in order to answer questions and better facilitate a divorce agreement that is acceptable to both parties in a more peaceful, less adversarial setting. One aspect of collaborative divorce that is important to note, however, is that in the event that you and your spouse are unable to resolve your matter in the collaborative divorce setting, you are required to each find new counsel to represent you in the divorce proceeding. This may result in additional fees and costs in the event the collaborative effort fails.

Regardless of what direction you choose, divorce does not always need to be a courtroom drama. If you are interested in resolving your divorce through one of these routes, contact the attorneys of DeTorres & DeGeorge to schedule a consultation.

Divorce Guide
About DeTorres and DeGeorge Family Law

DeTorres and DeGeorge Family Law is a New Jersey based family law firm that has been helping New Jersey residents achieve the best possible results in their divorce for nearly 30 years. The DeTorres and DeGeorge Family Law team is always ready to fight for their clients’ rights – determined to help New Jersey families overcome legal challenges from start to finish. Our legal team, with over 65 years of combined experience, provides expert guidance on all family law and divorce-related matters, including custody and parenting time, alimony and child support, equitable distribution of assets, premarital agreements, post-divorce issues, executive compensation distribution, divorces for business owners, and divorce mediation. The firm has been recognized for its dedication and expertise in the industry by multiple local and national organizations, including Super Lawyers, Law Firm 500, and the American Institute of Family Law Attorneys. Rosanne DeTorres, Managing Partner, is one of 150 lawyers certified as a matrimonial law attorney.

Erin D. DeGeorge
Erin D. DeGeorge joined DeTorres & DeGeorge, LLC as partner to the firm in June of 2010. Prior to joining DeTorres & DeGeorge, Erin was associated with the national firm of Fox Rothschild LLP and Cutler, Simeone, Townsend, Tomaio & Newmark, LLC...
Share on:

knowledge & insights

Man standing behind a tree watching a couple

My Ex Keeps Stalking Me

Stalking has been defined as a course of conduct that is directed at one person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. Stalking is a pattern of  behavior consisting of individual acts. Those acts independently could seem harmless and often non-criminal in nature, but when considered in...

February 28, 2024 Read More

Man in military uniform removing ring

Is military divorce the same as regular divorce?

Military divorce couples file for divorce using the same process that civilians use; however, when military couples divorce there are factors that have to be considered separate from routine divorce situations. While there are many similarities among a military divorce and divorces involving...

February 21, 2024 Read More

Bird house hanging from tree branch.

What is bird nesting divorce?

A bird nesting divorce, also referred to as bird's nest custody, or bird nesting, is a living arrangement that allows for the children to continue to reside in the family home while the parties take turns living in the home. Bird nesting divorce is intended to keep the primary burden of the divorce...

February 13, 2024 Read More

Divorce: The Answers you Need – Before, During & After

Download our eBook today!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.


  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

follow us