Conscious Uncoupling

Recently Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin announced on her blog that they have decided to “consciously uncouple.” The announcement caused a media storm of attention and a lot of discussion about the term.

In short, consciously uncoupling is a break up, but one that is done with cooperation and a lack of animosity. The concept of consciously uncoupling was introduced a few years ago and has been growing in popularity. At the heart of the process is the idea that both people in the relationship must take responsibility for the relationship and its breakdown. Marriages and relationships fail because both people are imperfect and make mistakes. There is no one to blame. If one person did something wrong in the relationship, that mistake is tied to things the other person did wrong as well.

Conscious uncoupling is meant to be a kinder, gentler type of divorce. The couple is supposed to be introspective, thinking about what each individual contributed and how each person changed during the relationship. There is no arguing or finger-pointing and the process allows the couple the opportunity to take apart their marriage and forge a new parenting relationship for the future in a thoughtful and careful way.

How can you consciously uncouple as part of your divorce? Mediation is perhaps the most helpful way to do this, and one that is accessible to everyone in New Jersey. Mediation allows you and your spouse to sit together with a mediator and make decisions about how to end your marriage and determine what your parenting relationship will be like in the future. Seeing a couple’s therapist can also help you resolve your issues without fighting.

DeTorres & DeGeorge handles divorce and mediation in Warren and Watchung, New Jersey and surrounding areas. Call us now at 908-284-6005 to schedule an appointment.

Divorce Guide
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