Are you unhappily married?


Are you unhappily married?

Man and woman sitting on a bed, both are upsetAccording to an article published in Healthline by Rebecca Strong, “Five consequences of an unhappy marriage and five tips to work toward change,” the potential consequences of staying in an unhappy marriage include a negative impact on your children, increased stress, increased conflict, decreased self-esteem, and less chance of finding happiness elsewhere.

The article also highlights ways that you can work toward resolving unhappy marriage circumstances. Those suggested tips include talking about the circumstances, getting curious with your partner and emphasizing the importance of curiosity over criticizing. For example, the article suggests that a conversation will be much more productive if a response to your partner’s feelings involves ways that you can improve the situation. The article suggests highlighting positive things that you value about your relationship before explaining the negative aspects and suggests making a commitment to each other. The article cites Kelly Neupert, a Chicago-based licensed psychotherapist in private practice, who suggests that maybe you feel unhappy because you handle too many of the household responsibilities, and your partner feels unhappy because of a lack of initiating intimacy more often. 

Growing up with unhappy parents

Strong cites a  2018 annual research review by the Association for Children and Adolescent Mental Health, which found that children of all ages “exposed to frequent, intense, and poorly resolved conflicts between parents are more likely to experience: mental health symptoms, such as anxiety and depression, sleep, problems, academic challenges, physical health, concerns, and social and interpersonal difficulties.”

According to Leanna Stockard, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist at Lifestance Health, also quoted by Strong, “unhappily, married spouses may also unintentionally model problematic behavior to their children, which may manifest itself in their future, romantic relationships as they navigate through life.”

How to leave an unhappy marriage.

Knowing when to move on is critical to identifying whether or not it is time to leave an unhealthy marriage. If you truly determine that there is not any compatibility between husband and wife, and that you can no longer endure the consequences of staying in an unhappy marriage it is probably time to explore how to leave an unhappy marriage. Speak to a divorce attorney if you have questions about navigating divorcing your spouse. Even if you decide that you do not want to divorce your spouse at this time, it is always helpful to have the information that you will need in the event that you make that decision. The impact of staying can be devastating for yourself, as well as for your children.  Children who have parents with a toxic marriage suffer in the household environment and also have difficulty in their own future personal lives. Growing up in an unstable home can have devastating consequences for everyone in the household.

Is it selfish to leave an unhappy marriage?

Here at DeTorres and DeGeorge we provide compassionate family law representation. If you are unhappily married contact us today to schedule a consultation. We will ensure that all of your questions are answered so that you are prepared to make the decisions necessary if you no longer want to remain in an unhappy marriage.


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