Woman with hands on back of neckFrequently, women experience a midlife crisis, which often creates a strain on a marriage and in many situations can lead to divorce. So, what exactly is a wife’s midlife crisis, and at what age is a midlife crisis for a woman? As Baltimore-based therapist and co-founder of WithTherapy, Dr. Heather Z. Lyons tells Woman’s Day, a wife’s midlife crisis, is a struggle with one’s own finiteness. This term was first coined in 1965 by psychologist Elliott Jaques. Lachman ME. Mind the Gap in the Middle: A Call to Study Midlife. Res Hum Dev. 2015;12(3-4):327-334.

If your wife is having a midlife life crisis, it can often lead you to experiencing feelings of insecurity, confusion, abandonment and loneliness. A midlife crisis in women may often result in significant life changes, which can include making uncharacteristic changes in life, such as changing jobs or hobbies, or changes in routines and physical appearance.

How do you identify a midlife crisis in women? 

“One of the things that can happen and identify the onset of a midlife crisis is feeling ill-fit for the life you’re leading,” says Dr. Robi Ludwig, Psy. D. and author of Your Best Age Is Now. “There’s a tendency to stop and pause during midlife and question whether you’re on the right track.” Symptoms of a midlife crisis for a woman may include exhibiting signs of depression and questioning long-held beliefs, expressing anger and blame.  Oftentimes these stages of a midlife crisis are marked by unusual sleep patterns, or unusual appetite or noticeable weight loss or gain, loss of interest in once enjoyable activities, sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, and depression.  Kathy Meyer, Brides Magazine, “6 signs that your spouse is having a midlife crisis.”  Women may also be focused on maintaining their youth and dwell on their physical aging and perceived imperfections.  Conversely, they may become apathetic and disinterested in their physical appearances. A women’s midlife crisis, unlike a male midlife crisis, is generally related to hormonal changes coinciding with the onset of perimenopause and menopause.

How to deal with your wife’s midlife crisis

Your wife’s midlife crisis might not lead to a divorce, but it will most likely lead to a difficult time in your marriage. At times, a midlife crisis wife wants to be alone. It may be difficult to help your wife through her midlife crisis or understand how to deal with a wife’s midlife crisis

As an article for Neuro Spa Therapy Centers explains, it’s important for every person to note the differences between clinical depression and midlife crises so they can seek professional help that is most effective.  This life event for women can be an opportunity for you and your wife to reconnect as she goes through this change. It’s important that you assess your relationship with honesty and it may be helpful to seek a therapist to help the two of you reconnect and gain perspective. 

Men often want to know whether or not their wife will come back after a midlife crisis or what they could do to get their wife back from a wife midlife crisis.  Counseling often works to provide support and understanding that a wife midlife crisis is normal and fairly common, which can often lead to preserving a marriage rather than having a marriage end in divorce.

No matter what the circumstances are, understanding your rights and having a positive perspective on the situation and your needs and desires will be beneficial to you in the long run. 

Contact our team of legal experts here at DeTorres and DeGeorge if you believe your wife is having a midlife crisis. If your wife is exhibiting signs of a wife midlife crisis make sure that you are prepared to understand this behavior and make choices about the needs for yourself and your family going forward.


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