Experts agree that parents who are able to work together and create a co-parenting relationship after their divorce or break up are able to help their children weather the changes best and also find that they manage better themselves. Co-parenting requires communication, as well as a modicum of trust. Successful co-parents build a new relationship as parenting partners and, for the most part, set aside their differences to parent their children together.
If you and your ex cannot communicate, co-parenting becomes a challenge. If you’re always getting into arguments, are unable to say a civil word to each other, and absolutely distrust each other, it is going to be very difficult to parent together for the good of your child. Follow these tips to make steps towards building a better parenting relationship.
- See a counselor together. You’re not there to work on your relationship, but you are there to find new ways to communicate. The old ways clearly don’t work. You need new patterns, new habits, and new strategies.
- Decide to react differently. You can’t change how your ex behaves, but you can change how you react. By controlling your knee jerk reactions you can stop the cycle of sniping. Your ex may then follow your lead slowly and gradually you may find a new way to communicate.
- Eliminate hot spots. Stop talking about the things that trigger the arguments or disagreements. If necessary, stop talking in person at all. If you text or email you give yourself time to weigh your words and strategize what you are saying.
DeTorres & DeGeorge offers representation in divorce and family law matters in Stewartsville, New Jersey and the surrounding areas. Call us today at 908-284-6005 for an appointment.